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A German couple who killed a man by stabbing him 66 times in
a Satanic ritual have been jailed for murder at the end of a trial that has horrified and fascinated the country.
I imagine they were going for the magical number of stabbings... 666. I guess they got tired and figure, "Hell,
Satan won't mind one tiny 6 missing."
Daniel struck defiant poses for the cameras
This is a "defiant pose"? He looks more like
he is receiving a wedgie at a Frat Party.
Daniel and Manuela Ruda never denied killing their victim,
but argued it was not murder because they were acting on the Devil's orders.
I'm sorry but if Satan were going to do his "evil deeds"
through people, don't you think he would have requested the plague or some spiffy genocide or something? Maybe
he gives his small tasks of killing one dude to those who aren't competent enough to carry out the big jobs.
They received sentences of 15 and 13 years respectively in a secure psychiatric ward.
Thus greatly limiting Satan's visitation.
The decomposing body of the dead man, Frank Haagen, was found in the couple's flat in July with a scalpel protruding
from his stomach and the sign of the Devil carved into his chest.
The sign of the Devil? 'Caution: Stupid Humans at Play'
The couple were arrested a week later.
What on earth for?
Narcissism
The presiding judge, Arnjo Kerstingtombroke, stipulated that the couple should receive therapy in jail, to ensure
that they never repeated their crime.
...because rehabilitation really does work. No, really it
does. Satan just signed up for a special 12 step program.
Manuela first dabbled in vampirism in London
...where she studied Goth Make-up Techniques,
sporadic head shaving and "spooky" hand gestures.
The defence had called for acquittal on the grounds that the couple were mentally unfit, but the sentences were
one year longer, in each case, than the prosecution had requested.
Acquittal based on "the Devil made me do it".
If it were that easy, I have a few people that I'd like to see dead, dammit.
The couple have shown no remorse for their crime and shocked the court with their extrovert behaviour, striking
defiant poses for photographers.
Defiant poses you say??
hahahahahahahahah!
Experts told the court in Bochum, in Germany's western Ruhr region, that they were suffering from "severe
narcissistic personality disturbances".
... and severe stupidity, demonic possession, bad hair (yes
coming from me that IS funny!!!!), and most likely... bad hygiene. They lived with a corpse for a week for fucks
sake.
Chainsaw
Accounts of the gruesome killing, in a room full of human skulls, cemetery lights, and a coffin in which Manuela
slept, have been given detailed coverage in the German media.
Manuela even slept in a coffin. Hahahahha! How totally "goth,
vampiric, Satanic" of her! Where in the hell does one obtain a "roomful of human skulls" anyway?
Errr... not that I am interested or anything.
Manuela Ruda, aged 23, told the court that Satan had called her when she was 14.
"Yeah so like, I was sitting on my bed and like, the
phone rang and I was all like... Hello? and he was all like Yeah Hello... and I was all like.. who is this? and
he was all like DUH, it's Satan! and I was all like OMG it's like totally Satan for real? and he said Like Yeah!
and I said Like WOW! so then he said like I all own you and stuff! and I said Whoa okay, for real? and he said
like DUH, for real, so go kill junk! and I said OKAY!'
She said she shunned strong light and had become involved in vampirism at "bite parties" in London.
ooooo bite parties.... what a bloody ball.. HAHAHAHAH GET
IT? GET IT? Oh nevermind.
She and Daniel, aged 26, said they attempted suicide during several days on the run after killing their victim,
who worked with Daniel selling car parts.
Servants of Satan sell car parts? I'd think Satan could
have gotten Daniel a more glamourous job ... like... selling Tupperware or something.
So they repeatedly tried to kill themselves and FUCKED IT UP EVERY TIME????? How can you fuck up suicide MORE than
once? I don't even know how people can fuck it up the first time but the fucked it up for several days? Sad.
Daniel also bought a chainsaw, saying he did not want to be empty-handed when the Devil called again.
Ring Ring
'Huh huh huh, hello?'
'Daniel?'
'Huh huh huh, yeah?'
'Hi Daniel, it's Satan again... remember me? Horns, long pointed tail, bright red, I carry a pitchfork?'
'DUDE!'
'Uhm yes, anyway... did you get that chainsaw I asked you to buy?'
'Most certainly, your royal Devil dude.'
'Good Good'
'I await your orders, Devil Dude. I am so stoked for more murders.'
'Murders? Don't be silly, Daniel. I need some landscaping done. Don't forget to bring your "ho" ... Manuela.
(devil chuckle)'
'HAHAHAHA you are most righteously funny Devil Dude!'
'Indeed, Daniel... see you Wednesday at 2.'
:::click:::
Source???
Why... the BBC, of course.
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